🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?